Walk in my Shoes

Everyday is a struggle. Every moment I wake up, I pray and thanked God for giving me another day to live. 

Who would have thought that at one point in my life, I almost ended my own life...due to depression.

God found a way to put me back together...little by little. HE let me go through struggles and problems that made me appreciate life and live with a purpose. 

Life is not just about happy moments. It's not just about laughter and good memories. You cannot attain happiness and contentment without having to go through tears and pain. 

If you're a mom, you would probably understand me for feeling this way. Like any other superheroes, I have my own weakness...it's my children.

It hurts to see strangers judge my child. The way they look...I can tell but the best thing I can do is to simply ignore these kind of people because they don't know the real story.  

But I was hoping that the closest people I know will understand my son's condition more than anybody else. But reality hurts because there are times, I felt that they don't understand. They are very insensitive and careless about things they say. Sometimes they would deprive my son from playing and interacting with other people. They would hid his toys for no reason, or force my son to stay in the room for most of the day.

So from now on, I would stop expecting too much from this people. I can see that they are quite concern but what I really need is a support group, who will be my source of strength at any moment I'm about to give up. I'm still a human after all, who can be vulnerable at times, sometimes physically drained and worst of all gets emotionally drained. It's rough and exhausting but I'm trying my best to put myself together for my kids. Prayers are really helpful. It gets me through the toughest day. 

Reminiscing my struggles since then, my tears just went rolling down. If you were in my shoes, how would you feel?