Hello everyone!
I don't know guys if you noticed that I took a break from blogging. I just wanted to share how life has been since then.
I tried to look back to my true purpose of coming up with this blog. All I wanted was to keep the memories alive. I am so fond of photo albums and scrapbooks but when the internet thing came in, that's when I started blogging. Initially, I would admit, no one ever dares to read my blog. And I don't even care. It's not for everyone to see. I consider it as a diary or daily logs and I never thought I would end up inspiring a lot of women especially moms who have the same life experiences that I share on my blog.
It's quite hard for me to share one of my darkest moments. If you knew me pretty well, you knew I love cryptic posts and I don't share exactly what those darkest hours were. I would rather keep it to myself and handle it by myself.
But I realized, I have to let it all out. Sometimes life gets harsh but we have to move on and look on to the brighter side of it. So here's the real story...
Life has been very toxic. Moving into a new apartment. Family issues. Kids being active in school. Having a full-time job. Being a full-time mom and wife. I've got no time left for blogging. Life overwhelms me in many ways and I chose to take a break for a while to focus more on personal things that matter most to me - my kids and my family. There's just too much happening in my life.
But why give up on blogging of all things? I would admit negative thoughts hit me, and creatures of self-doubts started to creep in. Why am I blogging? There are so many bloggers out there better than me. I'm not even half of what they've become. I earn very little from this blog but why am I still doing it? I see how successful my college and high school friends were...and look where I am. I felt so unfulfilled. It went on for months and then a year. And it has affected my current employment. I stopped communicating with my clients for no reason. I just decide to end it that way. I felt intoxicated but no one ever noticed. I try to mask myself with smiles and laughter but would cry when no one's looking.
However, having so much free time gave me more time to spend with the kids, make memories and witness their achievements with my very own eyes. It was the most rewarding thing with all the doubts and worries I've been trying to hide. But don't get me wrong, I wasn't sitting all day crying. There's much happier and fun days and I think that is what's keeping me in my toes and making life balanced.
After a year, I decided to grab a full-time job with better pay, thinking it's better and stable than just blogging. I met someone who offered me a virtual job, although I wasn't really looking at that time. I felt like it was a sign from God telling me it's time to start all over again, renew my life and start working again. And yes, I did.
Everything was good until I got laid off from work. It wasn't as stable as I thought it was. It was a popular real estate company in the US and yet we (including my co-VAs) got laid off. Yes, I'm officially unemployed. And it's stressing me again - job hunting; failed interviews; and sending more applications. Hopefully, I'll find something soon.
So what actually forced me to blog once again? Well, someone asked me - who influenced you into blogging? Do you have someone that you look up to? Who was it? It was a long pause. But it sounded funny when I told her...actually, there wasn't anyone. Then, I realized I don't have any influences when I started blogging.
Writing has always been my passion. It relaxes me. And I started blogging simply because I love writing. And I think those words that I can't blurt out, I can say it out loud through writing. I know it's weird. Although, I write mostly about life and family to simply keep the memories alive. Again, not for everyone to see but mainly for personal use 'cause I know time will come that I will look back at all these memories I have posted here and SMILE.
So I realized, it's not really that I gave up blogging but it's really the lack of time that stopped me from doing it. I think I need to do some hardcore time management. I will try my best to come up with new topics once in a while. It may not be as regular as it used to be but I will try to keep up the pace (as a promise to myself).
And despite all the life crisis and self-doubts that would forever linger within me, I accept the fact that life isn't perfect. That we should all find our own purpose in life to live our lives to the fullest. And with this crazy journey, I knew it will always lead me back to blogging. Because this blog defines me better than myself.
I tried to look back to my true purpose of coming up with this blog. All I wanted was to keep the memories alive. I am so fond of photo albums and scrapbooks but when the internet thing came in, that's when I started blogging. Initially, I would admit, no one ever dares to read my blog. And I don't even care. It's not for everyone to see. I consider it as a diary or daily logs and I never thought I would end up inspiring a lot of women especially moms who have the same life experiences that I share on my blog.
It's quite hard for me to share one of my darkest moments. If you knew me pretty well, you knew I love cryptic posts and I don't share exactly what those darkest hours were. I would rather keep it to myself and handle it by myself.
But I realized, I have to let it all out. Sometimes life gets harsh but we have to move on and look on to the brighter side of it. So here's the real story...
Life has been very toxic. Moving into a new apartment. Family issues. Kids being active in school. Having a full-time job. Being a full-time mom and wife. I've got no time left for blogging. Life overwhelms me in many ways and I chose to take a break for a while to focus more on personal things that matter most to me - my kids and my family. There's just too much happening in my life.
But why give up on blogging of all things? I would admit negative thoughts hit me, and creatures of self-doubts started to creep in. Why am I blogging? There are so many bloggers out there better than me. I'm not even half of what they've become. I earn very little from this blog but why am I still doing it? I see how successful my college and high school friends were...and look where I am. I felt so unfulfilled. It went on for months and then a year. And it has affected my current employment. I stopped communicating with my clients for no reason. I just decide to end it that way. I felt intoxicated but no one ever noticed. I try to mask myself with smiles and laughter but would cry when no one's looking.
However, having so much free time gave me more time to spend with the kids, make memories and witness their achievements with my very own eyes. It was the most rewarding thing with all the doubts and worries I've been trying to hide. But don't get me wrong, I wasn't sitting all day crying. There's much happier and fun days and I think that is what's keeping me in my toes and making life balanced.
After a year, I decided to grab a full-time job with better pay, thinking it's better and stable than just blogging. I met someone who offered me a virtual job, although I wasn't really looking at that time. I felt like it was a sign from God telling me it's time to start all over again, renew my life and start working again. And yes, I did.
Everything was good until I got laid off from work. It wasn't as stable as I thought it was. It was a popular real estate company in the US and yet we (including my co-VAs) got laid off. Yes, I'm officially unemployed. And it's stressing me again - job hunting; failed interviews; and sending more applications. Hopefully, I'll find something soon.
So what actually forced me to blog once again? Well, someone asked me - who influenced you into blogging? Do you have someone that you look up to? Who was it? It was a long pause. But it sounded funny when I told her...actually, there wasn't anyone. Then, I realized I don't have any influences when I started blogging.
Writing has always been my passion. It relaxes me. And I started blogging simply because I love writing. And I think those words that I can't blurt out, I can say it out loud through writing. I know it's weird. Although, I write mostly about life and family to simply keep the memories alive. Again, not for everyone to see but mainly for personal use 'cause I know time will come that I will look back at all these memories I have posted here and SMILE.
So I realized, it's not really that I gave up blogging but it's really the lack of time that stopped me from doing it. I think I need to do some hardcore time management. I will try my best to come up with new topics once in a while. It may not be as regular as it used to be but I will try to keep up the pace (as a promise to myself).
And despite all the life crisis and self-doubts that would forever linger within me, I accept the fact that life isn't perfect. That we should all find our own purpose in life to live our lives to the fullest. And with this crazy journey, I knew it will always lead me back to blogging. Because this blog defines me better than myself.
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